Why you might have lost all your Jewish friends this week and didn’t even know it.

I do not want to be writing this article. I’ve been waiting for someone else to write it. But, nobody else has, and somebody needs to say this.

You might have lost every last one of your Jewish friends this week, and you have no idea why. Please be patient with me as I try to explain. I’m going to be explaining things that are totally foreign to you. I didn’t even know I felt and thought this way until a couple of days ago myself.

When you are Jewish, you are always aware that there is a large population in the world that wants to kill you.

Even if they aren’t trying now, you read history and you see that every few generations, at the very least, some group tries to kill all or at least a lot of Jewish people.

We may like your posts that say “never again,” but we never fully believe it.

On Saturday, October 7th, we were reminded that we were right not to.

More Jews died in one day than any day since the Holocaust. And the reality is that while we felt shock, we didn’t necessarily feel surprise.

When my sisters were quite young, they used to play “hiding from the Nazis.” This wasn’t hide and seek; they would just pick a place to hide, under a couch, behind a freezer, and just lie still for hours. Once, they hid in our van for way too long, and my parents couldn’t find them, and they got in a lot of trouble.

They were genuinely “playing”; it was truly a game to them. But it’s just to hammer home the point that Jewish children grow up with the Holocaust being a part of our history and an intrinsic understanding that at some point, we may need to hide again.

Over the past few years, as the world in general has just gotten crazier than ever, it has become popular to post things like “If you think you would have been one of the ones who hid Jews in WWII but are afraid of speaking up about _____, you wouldn’t have been.”

It’s honestly a generally fair assessment because if you aren’t the kind of person who can handle criticism for a non-conventional belief of any sort, you surely aren’t the kind of person who would risk the Gestapo knocking on your door for hiding people. I’ve seen so many posts like this over the past 2 years.

But… here is what your Jewish friends are wondering right now. So, why didn’t you post… this time?

And that’s not an accusatory, WHY DIDN’T YOU POST!? It’s a genuine question. Because they need to know the answer.

Maybe you didn’t post something because you are ignorant about what took place.

Maybe you didn’t say something to your Jewish friends because you truly don’t understand that they consider every slaughtered baby, raped girl, and murdered man to be their own family.

Maybe you are so horrified by it all that you truly don’t know what words to say.

Maybe you are still wondering what to say.

Well, it breaks my heart to tell you what your Jewish friends are wondering.

They are wondering if you are safe.

They are seeing many others cave to the propaganda, the vitriol from the Hamas apologists; they are seeing the pro-Hamas protests and the threats to the world, and they are wondering if you are too afraid to speak.

And they know that if you are too afraid to speak, then you would be too afraid to hide them.

Did you know that that is a category of friend that every Jewish person has in their mind? Who would I run to? Who would hide me?

We don’t wonder if; we wonder when. Because we know that whether it is indeed us, or whether it is our brothers and sisters in Israel, or in France, or in Pittsburgh, it will happen again somewhere.

It wasn’t until this last weekend that I realized that I have lived my whole life treating the world as guilty until proven innocent. That until you are proven safe to me, I hold you in mild suspicion. I didn’t even realize that I’ve always done this.

When an Arabic barber is trimming my beard with a sharp blade and comments on my complexion and says “are you Arabic?” I don’t answer truthfully. I say that my grandfather was from Lithuania. (He was; it’s not a lie, it’s just not the truth.)

When a stranger says “what is your family background,” I almost always change the subject.

Dear friends who may feel this blog is written to you. I am not saying I fear you or that I don’t love you. I’m just trying to let you know that unless you have proven that you will stand with me, I will not run to your home if they come for me and my family.

I am also not saying that silence is support. I do not believe that everyone who hasn’t posted support for the Jewish people and for Israel is complicit. But… I am not totally sure if you are safe. And none of your other Jewish friends are sure either.

I’m sure this offends you. How unfair to fail an audition you didn’t know you were having.

And yes, it is unfair.

But I’m sorry to say your Jewish friends aren’t wondering about fairness right now. They are only wondering about safety.

This post might seem angry; I’m not. I’m just sad. Sad for everything that has happened, sad for the friends I’ve heard from who haven’t heard from a single non-Jewish friend with a message of love and support.

But here’s the other thing: it just takes one. One message, one post. The greatest soothing to my soul this past week has been seeing friends and old colleagues post notes of support. It truly means the world. It’s not too late.

But consider this carefully, because it is not a game. If you read this and choose to reach out, choose to take a stand publicly. Choose to put your own reputation on the line and maybe even take some of the hatred toward the Jewish people and Israel for yourself. If you do this, we may believe you.

Do not take this lightly. The history of the Jewish people is not a light one. But it is filled with joy. Our victories have always risen above our tragedies. It is a history of suffering but overcoming suffering.

And throughout history, there have always been those who stand with us. From the Egyptians who joined the Israelites, following the pillar of fire and pillar of cloud, to the hundreds of thousands of gentiles who put their lives on the line to hide Jews in Europe during the Second World War.

There is a song we like to sing: Am Y’Israel Chai. “The people of Israel live.”

We always will. Many have tried to wipe us out. And yet we live.

I started this article explaining our pain, but I end it with a simple invitation to join us in our life. It means the world when you do.

The Bomb

I’ve written this story before. 

When I was 14 while on a tour in Israel I was walking across the parking lot to my hotel. It was dark, and I was by myself, but I was walking from one hotel where the majority of our group was staying across to the other hotel where the rest of my group was. 

It was hot and sticky.

It was quiet.

And then it wasn’t.

I heard a bomb go off. 

The next day I would read in the newspaper that it was a car bomb and someone had died. Not anyone special. Just a person going somewhere. Travelling from one place in Jerusalem to another place. They had done nothing to provoke the terrorist, a suicide bomber, the very worst kind of murderer. Someone who hated someone else so much that they would rather die than have the other live.

And the victim had done nothing, nothing but be born Jewish.

I stood alone in that dark parking lot and I was changed. I realised, in a profound way for the first time, that I was hated.

Somewhere, not to far away, other terrorists were celebrating. A Jewish person lay dead. A Jewish family mourned their loved one. And the terrorists celebrated. And I finally understood that if it had been me who died, they would be equally delighted.

When you are Jewish, you grow up with a certain understanding of anti-semitism. You grow up understanding the weight of the holocaust. It’s in your blood. When did I first learn about the holocaust? I don’t know. Not knowing about the holocaust is not an ignorance afforded to Jewish children. It doesn’t matter when your relatives fled wherever they fled, you know of someone, a relative, a friend of your grandfather, there is someone missing, a branch cut-off on the family tree and you understand that it is due to hatred, to anti-semitism.

I can’t tell you how many books I’ve read that contained stories about anti-semitism, about the holocaust, about nazis. History books, biographies, autobiographies, historical fiction. 

But it wasn’t until I heard that bomb go off and I stood alone in that parking lot that I realized that I….I was hated. I was hated with a furious and passionate unreasonableness. And the unreasonableness does not make the hatred less upsetting. It is so much worse. That’s the entire point of terrorism, it is to cause despair, because you cannot reason with it.

I have opinions. Some of them are wrong. Some of them make people angry. Many of them others might disagree with. But I made those opinions. I chose them.

But my blood. My Jewish blood. Why does that make you so angry? I can’t argue with it. I can’t change it. I didn’t choose it.

And yet here I am, one of the chosen.

Praise Adonai. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The God of Israel. 

My fathers.

It is very difficult to explain to a non-Jewish person what Israel means to me. It is the oddest experience to have no desire to live somewhere, and at the sametime feel that it is home.

The reasons are many and complicated. But right now, I’m thinking maybe it’s the blood. The blood spilled all over the streets of Israel right now.

Test it, then test my own. You will not find many differences. Not enough for the terrorists to care if it was traded one for the other. They would see no difference if it was the victims hearts still beating and my blood that was splattered.

Sometimes I think every Jewish person lives with survivors’ guilt. Because we know that those that hate us don’t care at all which ones die.

I have some bad news for the terrorists. It really won’t make a difference who you murder. You cannot kill the brave ones, because they all are. To be Jewish is to be brave. 

I will end with one of my favourite movie quotes of all time.

“There are no weak Jews. I am descended from those who wrestle angels and kill giants. We are chosen by God. There are no weak jews.” ~ Elsa, from JoJo Rabbit

I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the Lord.

2 Our feet shall stand within thy gates, O Jerusalem.

3 Jerusalem is builded as a city that is compact together:

4 Whither the tribes go up, the tribes of the Lord, unto the testimony of Israel, to give thanks unto the name of the Lord.

5 For there are set thrones of judgment, the thrones of the house of David.

6 Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee.

7 Peace be within thy walls, and prosperity within thy palaces.

8 For my brethren and companions’ sakes, I will now say, Peace be within thee.

9 Because of the house of the Lord our God I will seek thy good.

Psalm 122

You’re Better Off Crazy

**This post was originally posted on an old blog of mine over 4 years ago. I encountered something similar the other day and thought instead of writing a new post, I would repost this one which I thought captured it at least as well as I could now**
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“I Love this Song” he said, and sung a few words. “Is this Journey?”

“No,” said the girl behind the McDonald’s counter “I’m pretty sure it’s Nick Lachey”.

Before I continue this story, you have to understand that this man is crazy. Not in the way you’re assuming, (I mean, who likes Nick Lachey”), but this man literally would be living in a mental hospital, if such things still existed.

I’ve seen this man, (whose name I believe is Dave), around before. He likes to stand on the street corner and ask people for change while drinking tea out of a giant mug, and he REALLY loves McDonald’s. He likes to ambush strangers waiting for the bus and ply them with McDonald’s knowledge and inquire after their favourite sandwiches.

Now to continue the story….

“Well I love this song,” said Dave, “I know all the words. I know lots and lots of words to lots of songs.”

“You ever been in a band?” butted in another man.

“Nope”, replied Dave cheerfully. Blissfully unaware of the competition for musical status he was about to lose.

“Well I have” said Mr. Bandman, “I’ve been playing in Bars for 40 years and know the words to every song that has ever been on the radio”

“You know who else I love?” Dave said, completely unaware that he had just been soundly beaten. “I love Alice Cooper. I have all his albums.”

“Oh ya,” Mr. Bandman’s eyes lit up, as he saw another chance to score a musical point. “What instrument did he play?”

“Probably guitar,” said Dave.

“Ha! Alice Cooper didn’t play anything!” crowed Mr. Bandman New World Champion Of Everything Music. “He just sang!” He looked around the restaurant to make sure everyone was seeing this.

“Well, I didn’t know” said Dave politely, “But I have all his albums and I love all his songs”.

Now I don’t want to belittle Dave’s plight. He clearly is down on his luck, probably because of whatever mental struggles he has. But sanity minus sensibility isn’t all that much better. Dave is totally fine with Dave. And we can all use a lesson from him.

Almost everyone runs around this world trying to prove themselves, comparing themselves. And every single time we find out that somebody out there is bigger, stronger, smarter, skinnier, prettier, more knowledgeable, or even just THINKS they are those things, we are crushed. Distraught. Depressed.

But here is the truth. You are a Human Being. A Person. Created by God. In His image. You were made on purpose, for a purpose.

And if you can think of all that, and still be depressed because you are comparing yourself to other created people just like you, well then quite frankly, you’d probably be better off crazy. Just like Dave. Who thinks that Dave is just fine the way he is.

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Mr. World Music Champion sneered at his foe, the one who couldn’t tell he had been vanquished. He turned towards the server and wished her a goodnight.

“You have a goodnight too!” shouted Dave who was on his way out.

“I wasn’t talking to you” laughed Mr. Insecure MusicMaster. A look of utter superiority flashed across his face.

“Ok!” smiled Dave as he headed outside, still humming the Nick Lachey song he loved so much.

5 Inspirational Sayings, And How To Ruin Them

I once had a co-worker who only spoke in cheesy sayings. She quite literally only ever responded to any conversation with some sort of motivational cat poster saying.

Now if she was a legitimate positive person, that would be one thing. But as one of the least sincere people I’ve ever met, who liked back-stabbing her co-workers, it was up to me to always ruin the moment. So on behalf of my co-workers I began to constantly counter her fake positivity. Am I saying I was a hero? No. But I’m also NOT saying I wasn’t a hero.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are my counter sayings.

I’ve already used this first one in a previous post.

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger!

Counter: Orrrr more likely it cuts you off from the herd and you die.

Every cloud has a silver lining!

Silver rain is still rain

It doesn’t matter if you fall down, It’s getting back up that counts.

But what if you fell down because you broke your leg? Stay down! You want that puppy to pop through your skin!

Shoot for the moon, and if you miss you’ll land among the stars.

Where you will either starve to death, or more likely run out of oxygen first and suffocate alone.

Everything happens for a reason.

And sometimes those reasons are bad. Like the reason being that someone wanted to murder someone else.

If you ever find yourself in an uncomfortably positive situation, I hope these can be helpful to you.

Are there any overly positive sayings you’re sick off? What are they? Let’s ruin them together 🙂

The wikipedia page of your life

Most of us aren’t ever going to be famous enough to have our own wikipedia page written. But it’s a very interesting thing to think “what would the wikipedia page about me say?”.

The reason I find this such an interesting question is because of the rules that wikipedia has in place to make sure that the entries stay as objective as possible. The main rule is that opinions must be clearly marked as opinions.

For example, while Jordan Peterson’s entry lists many “controversial” incidents, and even though many of the articles cited use the term “controversial professor”, the actual entry never calls him such. Rather it makes it clear that there are people who consider him controversial.

A great example is the way it allows musicians to be described. It doesn’t say that Taylor Swift has a “sweet and soft” voice. Rather it references that specific critics refer to her vocals as “sweet and soft”.

Where am I going with this.

Could you write out the story of your life and actually consider where your own opinions of yourself come from? What would it look like if you just stuck to the facts. So many of us carry labels that others have put on us as if they are the truth. We would write “Despite being stupid, John Smith managed to graduate with honours from university”. Or would it be more truthful to write “John Smith graduated with honours from university, the only member of his family to accomplish such a feat. This despite the fact that at the age of 10 his teacher had referred to him in a parent/teacher meeting as stupid”.

It’s a challenge I have for myself. Do I carry the labels and opinions that others have put on me, both negative AND positive. Or do I realize that other peoples opinions of me are just that, opinions. And that not only do I not have to carry those labels, but I also have a lot of my own story left to write.

Who eats better than you?

I didn’t used to be very good at eating.

Now mind you, if you have ever watched me eat over my entire lifetime you would not think I ever struggled with eating. But I’m not talking about my appetite, I was just a typical North American kid who had one style of eating. Is it deep-fried? Crispy? Crunchy? Salty? Feeeeeed it to me!

I was not a food-cultured person.  (Ironically my mother is a really good cook. But that didn’t stop me from demanding my steak be cooked well done).

I was the punk who went to the sushi restaurant with my co-workers and just loaded up on a plateful of chicken wings instead. As previously stated, I would go to the Keg and order steak-well done. And I ordered coke with everything.

Then one day I started working for a guy who knew how to eat. Years of working as a sales rep meant he had to learn how to go to restaurants and know exactly what to order to impress the clients. And the best thing happened to me. He just would order for me. He picked Sushi that wasn’t intimidating until I learned not just to love sushi but I could be the guy who ordered for the table.

He refused to let me eat steak well-done.

And he taught me that Ginger-ale is a superior drink with many meals.

And I’m really glad he did. As someone that has spent a lot of the last 4 years on the road, knowing how to order and eat well is a big benefit. Not just that, but I in turn have learned to help other people have better food experiences.

And it’s all because I found someone who was better than me at eating.

But importantly, I had no pride in my ability to order food. So I didn’t mind if someone told me I was doing it wrong.

But I do have pride in other areas of my life. That’s not so good.

I hope I find people that are better than me at all those things and that I am willing to just say, “Sure. Just show me what you do.”

I think it’s called being a disciple.

Ideas are like toddlers

Ideas are so interesting.

You have them. One second they aren’t there and the next second they exist. You can’t make them not exist, just boom. There is an idea.

And it’s yours. Have you ever had someone try to take over something and you’re like “That was MY idea!”

But on the other hand, it’s totally not. So often it’s like the idea belongs to itself. You can’t make your idea stay the same as it first was. It changes and morphs and goes all sorts of places that freak you out.

Sometimes you’re embarrassed by your idea. You think people will judge you because your idea kinda seems crazy.

But you still can’t stop it. The idea just keeps changing and growing and sometimes wakes you up in the middle of the night.

This blog was an idea. And now I don’t really know what to do with it.

You were born stupid

You couldn’t walk.

You couldn’t talk.

You couldn’t feed yourself.

You peed in your own pants.

Now look at you.

You may not be an athlete but outside of a tragedy, you not only walk you can run.

You may not sound like an angel but you can talk and sing.

You can feed yourself and maybe even cook.

I’m guessing you don’t soil yourself anymore either.

Don’t ever tell yourself you’re stupid and have no ability to learn. The fact that you can even utter the phrase “I can’t learn” is proof that you HAVE learned.

Sure you can always find someone to compare yourself to who can do things better than you. But forget them. Compare yourself to you when you were born. You can learn. You’ve been doing it your whole life.

You didn’t stop when you were 2 years old.

You don’t have to stop when you graduate high-school, university, anything.

You’ve got a good thing going with this learning thing.

Don’t quit now.

You Are A Baby

Hey you. Ya you. You know what you are? A big baby. Yes you eat “big-people food” and you don’t spit up on people. You can dress yourself.

But.

You think like a baby.

Now of course nobody really knows what a baby is thinking because there has yet to be either a talking newborn, or anyone who can remember what it was like exactly. But you can guess.

Newborns constantly think they are about to die.

It’s why they cry so much.

Here is how I imagine babies think.

“Oh my gosh. This is it. I’m going to explode. Here it comes! Oh no! Goodbye cruel world!!!!!!!…..” *burbs* “Oh. That was nothing. I’m fine”

“Oh wait. I’m going to die again! No! I’m to young! Not like this! Not my insides exploding all over my mom! No mother should be holding her baby while they spontaneously combust! I can’t believe this is happening!“*poops*.” Oh. That’s better.“

“Oh my goodness. Someone has poisoned me. I’m going to die. This is what having poison coursing through your gut is like. My insides are turning to dust!” *Feeds* “Oh that was lovely! What was I upset about again?…….oh wait…..this is it, I’M GOING TO DIE!!!!” *Burps*. “Oh I’m fine“

You know what? Sometimes I feel like that. Not about burping and hunger. But something comes up. Something upsetting. Probably something that has happened to me before. And while I don’t think I’m literally gonna die, I still act like a baby. “Oh no! This is the end! It’s all to much! Goodbye cruel world!” And then 90-95% of time the things work out.

But I don’t freak out only that 5-10% of the time that things actually end up being a big deal. I freak out ALL the time.

Are you like this? If so. You need to know. You’re a big baby. And so I’ll tell you what I tell my babies when they cry. “You’re going to be fine. There are people that love you and are going to make sure you’re ok.”

17 things you never thought about, but are terrifying

Life can be scary. And complicated. And if you lived inside my head, you would probably think it’s more of both those things than you ever realized. So I’ll just give you a tiny glimpse into the types of things I think. There are concepts that I believe we just haven’t taken the time to realize are as horrifying they are. Like C.S. Lewis pointing out that going to a land where your dreams came true would actually be the scariest thing in the world (think about it. Your actual dreams. Like where you didn’t study and showed up to school without pants on).

One of my examples is how I’m afraid of midget clowns. I’m not afraid of midgets, and I’m not afraid of clowns, but for some reason a midget clown would freak me out.

Here are 17 more terrifying things you’ve probably never thought of.

1. A mouse with the voice of a man.
2. A glow in the dark elephant.
3. Wesley when he was the bad version of The Dread Pirate Roberts.
4. Forgetting it’s a PD day and going to the mall.
5. A spider dancing the hokey pokey. Extra terror points if it sings it as well.
6. Sleeping on an aquarium water bed.
7. Remembering being born.
8. A countdown clock until the next time you got the stomach flu.
9. If things stay the same, the average person will have spent over 27 years interacting with their digital device by the time they die.
10. Vultures the size of a moth.
11. Moths the size of vultures.
12. You actually have no idea what anyone else is really thinking and you never will.
13. Narwhales are a real thing. That’s basically a whale just swimming around carrying a spear.
    

    

    Scene 1: Jason Bourne googles self, discovers real name. Roll Credits.

14. If smartphones existed 16 years ago then the Jason Bourne movies probably would have never have happened.
15. Landmines.
16. At some point in your life your stomach says to you “Hey, I forgot to tell you, we aren’t going to accept spicy food anymore.” And you have NO control over when that is.
17. Someone out there is lying about you right now. And if they aren’t, then this sentence is a lie, which means…….it’s true.

Do any of these terrify you? Anything I should be terrified by that I’m not? Please leave a comment with your answers.